So, I had planned to help my Mum out yesterday by going to buy some garden chairs.
I had a few things to do for work and I estimated that it will take about half hour/45 mins tops to go to the shop, buy them, and bring them back home.
Early morning I was out, did my food shop, came home, unpacked and then ready to go.
My Mum asks me if I was going to eat before we left. I said no I was alright and I’ll eat when I get back.
Though I could feel I was hungry (physical), I was about a 4 on my hunger scale and chose not to take any snacks with me, but only water. I chose to stave off my hunger (self sacrificing…) because I estimated we wouldn’t be that long going out.
We get to the shop and my Mum knew she wanted the fixed, standard garden chairs, but I felt drawn to ask about the same style of chairs that had the ability to fold up. These were flat packed so great for easy storage and space saving, but my Mum was insistent she wanted the fixed chairs.
Okay cool. They looked like we’ll be able to get them into the car, despite my car being small….hmmm.
The shop assistance kindly helps us to load up the 4 chairs into the car.
Uh oh! Problem……it’s a challenge to even get ONE chair into the car. Arrgh!!
The shop don’t sell the chairs online and they don’t deliver – arrrgh!!!
So, we push, pull, tug and squeeze ONLY TWO chairs into my small car – eek!
The shop assistant suggests we put the other two chairs on top of the car and tie them down. I say, “no” because I’ve never driven with anything on top of my car and supposing if I brake and the chairs go flying off! (fear!)
With my Mum squashed up front with her shopping and the chairs in the back we make it home in 5 minutes – phew!
Now to get the chairs out of the car!
We squeeze, tug, push, pull. Because I’m hungry – my physical hunger now is on a scale of 2! I want to hurry up and eat!
I can feel myself getting annoyed and resenting going to buy the chairs (my emotions showing up), and my Mum could sense this.
After 5 minutes we get the chairs out! Hoorah! I go back to the shop and collect the other two only to endure the whole process again of forcing the chairs into the car, driving back home, and squeezing the chairs out again – arrgh!
I’m now super hungry, suppressing my hunger and emotions, my hunger is on a scale of 0! This is not good!
I’m angry and resentful at the chairs for being how they are, and at myself for not putting myself first, but instead choosing to self sacrifice – not listening to my body and feeding myself first.
The whole process took longer than the 45 minutes I had estimated. An hour and a half it took in total!
After putting the chairs in the garden my Mum then says to me, “Oh, looking at it I think the folded ones would have been better…..” Arrrgh!! What?!
As I had a lot on I didn’t take time out to deal with how I was feeling, but chose to PUSH on – again self sacrificing. I could feel I was tense and chose to suppress my feelings. I chose to be BUSY rather than take time out to pay my feelings any attention.
Though I got most of my work done, I was unable to go out to my meeting later in the afternoon. I felt drained and tired by the end of the day.
Later in the evening my body started to react with an intense tummy ache…hmmm.
I tracked what I had eaten during the day – nothing out of the ordinary, as I’m still cleansing my gut, so the food is pretty simple.
I went to the toilet, had some peppermint tea and that seemed to ease the ache, but I still didn’t feel right….
Woke up this morning and the ache had come back.
So, whilst praying I asked God why my tummy was hurting?
He instantly reminded me of how I was feeling regarding the whole incident of buying the chairs.
I had stuffed down and not expressed my true feelings, so the brunt of it settled in my tummy – of course…..at the moment, it’s the most sensitive place.
So, I expressed how I had felt – angry and resentful at myself, my day, my itinerary (packing in too much to do already)….
How I was feeling did not make for a good experience for my Mum and I, as I know she could sense how I was truly feeling.
How I was feeling bad and guilty for feeling this way (judgement and blame) – it wasn’t my Mum’s fault. I offered to help, but I under estimated how long the whole buying of the chairs would take, which impacted into my day and meant me missing out on going to my meeting…
After expressing I then asked how I could have done things in a way that would have meant me looking after my emotional well-being?
My insights were:
- Listen to my body – it was hungry. I (emotionally) wasn’t hungry and I wanted to PUSH through, and get the task done, much to my detriment.
- Listen to external – my Mum suggested I ate something before we went because she knows how I get when I’m hungry (hahaha!) or maybe she sensed something too (being Mum…).
- Over estimate the timing of tasks.
- Speak out more and be insistent when I sense (internal) to go in another direction. To TRUST and explore – my Mum insisted she wanted the fixed chairs. I sensed we should look at the folded chairs, but because it was my Mum’s choice I backed down and chose to honour her choice, only for my Mum to then express when we got home that maybe the folded chairs would have been better….
- Put me and my emotional well-being first – it’s like the analogy of the air plane mask in the event of the plane going down. Put your mask on first before helping others to put their masks on! If I’m not looking after me first, I’m then not in a good position to help others.
- I was reminded of a similar situation one of my clients went through last week, which we’ll be speaking about today. I congratulated her on her body feeding back to her and her becoming aware of her body speaking to her. She had similar physical symptoms to mine. What a perfect mirror and reflection for me on how I’m showing up….
I choose to embrace this experience as a “gift” that is showing me areas in my life that still require attention and how best to remedy that.
The experience served as a reminder on how best to look after me first, so I can remain in good, overall health to better assist and serve others.
Look at what you may consider to be challenges in your life right now.
How can you see the “gift” in them?
How is your body choosing to express how you TRULY FEEL about them?
How will you choose to address this?
The body doesn’t lie. Listen to it and be aware of how your emotions are expressing themselves.
Health Fitness Expert & Mind Body Coach.
I Want My Body Back.